It is easy to eat a celebrity. You can break them down to bite-sized morsels with a simple click, click, click, which is presumably why it’s called a “mouse.” Celebrities, on the other hand, that cannot be ethically consumed are either (1) not celebrities at all or (2) the best celebrities of all time. Consider the teenager currently eliding my fork: Sean Pablo Murphy, a skateboarder who was born in Los Angeles in 1997. Sean Pablo probably doesn’t know that’s the year Princess Diana died, let alone that her favorite food was bread pudding, and his only reference point for gratuitous public mourning may well be the makeshift altar for Bowie that lived across the street from Supreme. I worry about the teens.