Image: By Konrad Klinkner.
If technology has “disrupted” our social and personal realities, how do we make them right? We asked you to submit your questions about the uncertainties and too-certainties of living online — if you haven’t submitted, there’s still time! — and at 7 p.m. tomorrow night at Babycastles, our panel of experts will answer. Here’s a preview of some of the hot topics we’ll be broaching at Real Life: Live!
Lately I’ve been feeling like my head isn’t mine anymore but instead a mash of strangers friends celebrities enemies and ghosts of myself from four years ago. How do I “find myself” when we’re all typing constantly in the same font in the same space?
Two years ago I started a relationship with someone that was purely online — we started out DMing and it became flirtatious and since they live in another country, it just kept developing at a distance. We’ve talked about meeting IRL, but so far it hasn’t been practical, and frankly it hadn’t felt that important. Recently I found out that an acquaintance of mine is their ex — the two of them dated for about a year and even lived together briefly. My friend swears it was a mismatch and they never really connected with each other, but I can’t get over feeling like that relationship was legitimate while mine isn’t. What counts as really “knowing” someone?
There’s this pretty famous singer I’ve always adored who I tweet at occasionally and who sometimes tweets back at me. We’ve even DM’d once or twice. I know that doesn’t count as knowing each other, and I am literally just an avatar and a fan to them, but the responsiveness has turned my celebrity crush into something like a real, urgent crush and I feel like a total creep for reading so much into it. How can I reason with myself?
This one time I went out to lunch with a group of friends and someone insisted we all put our phones in a pile and the first person to pick up their phone pays the tab. I don’t find it rude at all when people use their phone while we’re hanging out — I’m used to attending to more than one person or situation at once — and frankly I find it offensive when people suggest the opposite. Who is right?
Real Life
July 5, 2017